


cherry coke

by Anonymous



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bad Ending, Based on Cherry Coke by Better Than This, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Depression, Gen, Implied Suicide at end, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No official ending, Nonbinary Character, Romance if you squint, Suicide, do not romanticize this, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27659158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Everyone would always ask, where is he? Why isn’t he there? Do you know if he’s okay? These annoyed George.He didn’t know an answer to any of them.( EXTREME TOPICS, DO NOT CLICK IF UNCOMFY )
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF) ( sorta )
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25
Collections: Anonymous





	cherry coke

**Author's Note:**

> !!!! EXTREME TW!!!!!!!
> 
> talks about suicide and mental health themes with misgendering and doxxing etc.
> 
> not meant to be shippy, but can be if you squint i think.
> 
> this is a vent fic, dont sent this to ccs
> 
> DO NOT READ IF UNCOMFORTABLE WITH FOLLOWING THEMES;  
> SUICIDE, DEPRESSION, DOXXING, SHAMING, MISGENDERING OR ANY OF THE CCS
> 
> DO NOT ROMANTICIZE THIS.

‘ can i come over every night?  
distance makes me want to cry. ‘

George missed Dream, he’d been gone off the internet for a while, 3 weeks, to be specific. No traces of him, he hadn’t been picking up calls, didn’t answer texts, or didn’t update his Twitter. Dream was just gone. No one knew where he was.

Did he leave? Would they ever close the distance? George and Dream had planned to meet a lot of times, one of them including Wilbur. George and Wilbur did meet but Dream didn’t come with them.

All he wanted was to be with Dream. He meant a lot to him. 

Dream was always there for him.

No matter what.

Now he’s not there, gone, somewhere without any hints, tips or messages. He just wasn’t there. George missed him more than anything.

Anything.

He’d been streaming regularly like always but without Dream. Everyone would always ask, where is he? Why isn’t he there? Do you know if he’s okay? These annoyed George. 

He didn’t know an answer to any of them.

‘ booking shows in orlando just to see you,  
my feelings are see through ‘

Sapnap can’t even count the times George asked about Dream. No, he didn’t know either. No one knew except Dream himself. Both of them contacted Dream’s mom to no response, or just being left on read/delivered. 

This is useless. Would he ever come back? Did he leave for a reason? Does he hate me? Is he fine? George would always ask everything he could think of. He didn’t know, either. He didn’t know if Dream was fine, either.

Everything would turn out fine, though. They always did, didn’t they? The last choices left for them was to go to Florida, or to wait.  
Waiting isn’t an option, they don’t know if it’ll be too late. 

But they can’t go to Florida, can’t they? They don’t know Dream, how he looks, where he lives, and how to contact him. 

George had a great idea of running his phone number through a search engine and see what came up, it totally felt insane but it’ll be fine for now, right? As long as Dream never found out about this.

Sapnap doesn’t know any other choice.

‘ cause i wanna be with you,  
no matter what they say ‘

Sapnap always asked if this was what he wanted. Of course, it was, or were there deeper intentions? George doesn’t know. All he wants is to find Dream. Everyone on Twitter is worried. George has just stated he is on break, that’ll work for a while.

George opened Google and typed ‘ reverse phone number lookup ‘ then opened the first link he found.

Hesitating for a second, he typed Dream’s personal number in. As he waited for results, he still questioned if this was the right thing to do. It felt illegal, and it might’ve been.

1 result found.

George clicked on it.

‘ Clay Block

Orlando, FL, United States

12th of August, 1999 ‘

This felt so wrong. But it had to be done. So, Clay, huh? George hesitated before opening Google again. Dream had hidden his face for a reason, right? He shouldn’t just… google it like that.

Fuck it, so he did it. He Googled it. 

…

1 result on Twitter.

Clay Block @minecraftblocc

hi, im clay. im 21. personal/vent acc  
they/them

‘ im wanna be with you,  
im gonna be with you ‘

Their mental state had been absolute shit. Even from when they were a kid. It never got better, their head always surrounded by dark clouds. How do you make yourself happier? You don’t. How do you make yourself better? You don’t.

It’s impossible to be better than your thoughts, they’ll always be superior to you, no matter how happy or sad.

It was way too hard to hide from 13 million people who are waiting for your return, for you to make videos and stream to them.

Truth is, it will be very hard for them to return. They just couldn’t. They’d already been gone for 3 weeks. They missed George, Sapnap, Bad and all of their friends. They still couldn’t.

Why you may ask?

There’s a reason why they hid their real name, why they hid their face, why they hid basically everything in their life.

Everything had never been okay.

Never, even as a kid.

‘Mx. Clay Block, they’re ready for you.’

‘ i wanna speak spanish to impress you,  
pero no hablo español ‘

Should he be doing this? Probably not. Is he doing it? He is. He clicked on the account, it was public.

His bio read his name, age, and pronouns, did he ever know they used they/them pronouns? This is so weird, it felt like invalidating Dream’s right to privacy, there’s obviously a reason they hid all of this info.

Anyway, George scrolled down on the account to look at Dream’s tweets, to see if there’s any clue of how they’re doing. He notices the last tweet is from yesterday.

It reads, ‘honestly im so done with my life i don't know how to go back anymore’

It has no likes, no retweets but only one comment. He opens it and regrets it, it just says ‘Kill yourself, then.’, written by a throwaway account. How long had this gone on?

This never happened on their main account, right?

George always knew he’d accept Dream as they are, but… this just felt like a wild trip and totally weird. He found out so much stuff he shouldn’t know, but he felt like he had to go deeper on Dream’s account. No matter if Dream liked it or not. 

‘ can we go to a diner at 2am this summer?  
i promise i won't be a bummer. ‘

They were never more alone than now. They never felt such loneliness ever before. It had never been this bad.

The thoughts are back. There’s nothing they can do about this, absolutely nothing, sit aside and let the show happen. 

‘ They’re having so much fun without you. None of them miss you. I bet they don’t care about you. You are disgusting. You should tell them that you hate them, I bet they’d leave you already. ‘

They felt like crying already, but it doesn’t stop that easily. It never did.

Nothing they can do about it. Nothing is that easy, everything in life had a risk. Everything. There is nothing that doesn’t have a risk. Everything puts you out there, for them to grab you and eat you.

Dream held back tears and opened Twitter on their phone. They were logged on to their private account. It had 4 notifications. 

One of them was a comment just telling them to kill themselves, of course. This was normal, nothing out of usual. 2 were DMs from spambots. Totally normal. The last one was a like.

A like from @GeorgeNotFound.

What the fuck?

‘ steal my hoodie and my mom will get mad,  
i don't even care i guess i'll be bad ‘

George scrolled deeper down, reading all of Dream’s tweets. They were all depressing or of dark nature. Then, he noticed. One from 3 weeks ago, a day after Dream and George had their last interaction. It read as follows,

‘ so, i tried to commit last night. i’m stuck in this hellhole for a while now. fuck it all ‘ Alongside a blurry-ish picture of a female and a hospital room from the bed. The female had long blonde hair and was wearing a green hoodie, they seemed young from their figure.

George cringed, what had gone on behind the scenes, and for how long? Is this why Dream didn’t return? Had they been gone for so long that he just couldn’t? Why the fuck was George caving in Dream’s personal info anyway?’

This is so wrong. He should stop looking into this. But he didn’t, he kept going down, yet again diving into personal information.

There were a few normal tweets, such as them being on trips and showing views. He smiled for the first time in a while, at least Dream tried to help themself. 

He couldn’t tell Sapnap about this. Never.

This can’t spread to anyone else. This was personal to Dream, right? He shouldn’t do this. No one else should either. What if someone had found out about this?

George scrolled back up Dream’s tweets and realized he’d liked one of them. 

Fuck.

‘ ride with me cuz i'm scared,  
i can tell that you care ‘

Why the fuck had George invaded his personal space? How did he find this account? They knew he’s curious and had read his tweets. Fucking hell. Can Dream not have any privacy anymore?

And knowing the fangirls when they see George liking a random accounts tweet which had no likes it’d be obvious who the person was.

I mean, most people knew his first name already right? RIGHT?

Soon enough, his tweets were being spammed with likes and retweets, his comments were filled with comments asking if this was Dream.

They can’t have anything anymore in this fucking world. Their full name and true self was leaked to hundreds of thousands of people. Now the entire fucking Twitter knows who Dream actually is.

A queer piece of shit.

They weren’t anyone to look up to. Just a normal human being doing videos.

Before anything, they quickly turned their account private and took their real name off their profile. Then they started sobbing.

Does George know what the fuck he did? He leaked their fucking personal information to thousands of fans.

Probably their face, too. It was easily visible when typing their real name in Google. Dream felt like disappearing. There was nothing to grasp on. Their privacy, personal information, and probably a lot more were leaked.

They logged on to their main account and went on the timeline.

It was a nightmare.

A bunch of Tweets with pictures of their rants, a bunch of Tweets with their real name, a bunch of Tweets hating on them and misgendering them. They started crying even louder.

This is not what they had wanted. They don’t want to be here anymore, stream, make videos or Tweet anyone. They threw their phone on the side of the bed and just looked on the floor, crying.

Their entire fucking life was ruined now, wouldn’t be a surprise if they got doxxed too. 

Basically, everything you needed was out there.

Dream grabbed their phone, opened Discord and messages George.

‘i hope this is what you wanted.’

‘ cause i wanna be with you,  
no matter what ‘

He closed Twitter in a panic after seeing the like, not even unliking it. 

Opening Discord, he immediately sent Sapnap a message. ‘ i fucked up. ‘, staring at his screen while Sapnap typed ‘ i noticed. ‘ 

Wait, he noticed? What happened? Did someone notice? ‘ im a fucking idiot ‘ He sent back and opened Twitter, with butterflies in his stomach, but not in a good way. 

His timeline was filled with Dream, and he means filled. There was no tweet that didn’t include a mention of Dream. George scrolled as he noticed, their real name had been leaked to everyone. Why the fuck did he forget about that?

He knew Dream’s face could probably be seen if their full name was typed into Google. How did he fuck up this bad? They could possibly be doxxed or tormented, probably already been. George basically leaked everything in Dream’s life, accidental or not.

Immediately, he knew. They’d likely never return due to this, George would never hear that wheeze, that smooth voice, and see his dumb skin and parkours.

Most Tweets were trying to hide Dream’s identity and wished for him to return, but as he scrolled deeper things got way more shitty, plenty of Tweets with people misgendering them, talking about how they wished Dream killed themself and people sending pictures of his Tweets from the account.

Plenty of people were trying to doxx them, too. 

George felt like crying. He’d never see them ever again, likely. Who would come on the internet after their whole life being leaked like that? He messed up, real bad, the punishment was never seeing his best friend, maybe more.

He stumbled upon a picture, after crying and scrolling. It was a picture of a dirty blonde person, with shoulder-length curly hair, tan skin, yellow eyes which were probably green, and freckles on their nose. The caption was talking about how this was Dream.

George had to admit he was gorgeous, but this wasn’t the best time. He opened the comments, seeing a bunch of shit like how they were ugly and how manly they looked.

Then it finally hit George. He basically ruined Dream’s entire life. How the fuck could he go outside with 13 million fans and no one knowing him after this? One of the tweets talking about this had 800k likes, it has probably spread to other apps, like TikTok and YouTube already.

He got a Discord notification, it was from Dream.

‘i hope this is what you wanted.’

‘ i wanna be with you,  
i'm gonna be with you ’

There was no choice after this  
Where would you even go?  
Nowhere to go, eyes lurking  
Mind clattering  
Is that you?  
Come, be mine  
Explore my mind  
Open my head  
Go with the grind  
Follow them  
My mind is already bent  
No more sacrifices  
Getting to the core of life  
I feel like dying  
Come, be mine  
Are you mine?  
Never have been  
Rotting in a sewer  
With nothing but luck  
No more saving  
I’m sticking with caving  
This brain of mine  
Is endless  
May not be good,  
May not be bad  
It is endless  
Everyone I love is gone  
I’m done with this body  
It does not belong to me  
I’m simply borrowing it  
Playing the piano in my mind  
Splish, splash  
I’m already gone  
This time, the deed has been done

No more faking.

Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a vent fic, do not romanticize this.


End file.
